Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
