One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
