i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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