i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
