think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
