We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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