I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
