He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
