I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
