I just cut my nipple shaving
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
