So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
