I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize