my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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