EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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