My room smells like vodka and shame
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
