Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
