White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
