Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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