What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
