so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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