Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
