She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
