Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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