I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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