No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
even my farts smell like vagina
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize