Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
