Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
