foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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