just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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