So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
