Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
