She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
