True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You were trust falling into bushes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
