We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
