Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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