how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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