Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
