He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
