i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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