I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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