There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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