tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
