How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
not ubering you a puppy
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
