I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
