That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
