i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
