Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
