Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
