it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
