Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize