I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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