are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
