oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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