im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
