The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
