pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
