Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
