We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
